Back in the day, there used to be homes for unwed mothers. They were the results of a enigmatic condition called an unwanted pregnancy which always seemed the result of an accident. Back in those same days, teen pregnancy was considered a terrible sin of sorts which led half of the perpetrators to leave town for a while until the delivery was done. The unwed father was simply left alone and disgraced.
I remember vividly in my first parish when a sixteen-year-old was “sent away” to the nearest Florence Crittenton when her pregnancy was quite apparent. As her pastor, I was invited to conduct chapel one day. When I arrived, I was ushered into a large room with about sixteen pregnant teenagers in rocking chairs. I avoided the obvious pulpit and pulled up an extra rocker. In that congregation, I was helplessly without words so I asked the ladies in waiting to give me a few clues.
After a pregnant pause, somebody said “Please don’t condemn us or make us feel any more guilty. We get enough of that.” That’s when I put away the Bible and notes and listened and learned. I had just graduated from seminary, but they had been to a school the likes of which I could never know, and they were faced with a dilemma that would have been the death of me. They were basically being forced to deliver their baby and place it up for adoption. They had no freedom of choice in the matter.
Their plights were forged by a two-edged sword. Pregnancy out of wedlock had condemned them to this gentle prison, and the concept of sex as the original sin became another whip to let them know that their pregnancy was God’s punishment for their sin. What a theological mockery.
After several other incidents like that one, I became an advocate for the rights of women – young and old – to be able to make their own choice in such matters. After Roe v. Wade, clinics began to offer other healthy and civilized choices for these special people called “unwed mothers”. Planned Parenthood offered much better alternatives to unplanned accidents.
Throughout this process, I tried to bring some comfort to the other partner in the process – not the crime! But there were never homes for unwed fathers!